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Abuse of the Mind

July 27, 2008

The system is screwed up.  I know that from my own dealings with it.  But over the past few days I have realized just how screwed up it is.  One child which is in my life is being abused by someone not living in my home and the person with which this child lives is angry that someone has called the state on them.  When asked what happened a week ago to cause a bruise about the size of a racketball on the child’s forehead, “I don’t know” was the answer.  This was after we were told the child must have gotten into makeup or something because there was no bruise.  Once bathed, the spot remained.  This person has since let me know that the child fell off the sofa and hit their head on the floor.  Well this was after the state has begun looking into it.  I would be understanding if this person had been honest with me in the first place but why, a week later, was a new story told.  I’m left wondering what the truth really is.

Then their is a situation with my ex-husband and his girlfriend of many years.  She has a son from a marriage before she met him and he is a tweener.  Unsure exactly what the truth is here, I have found out that the boy is blaming my ex for abusing him.  While I can sit back and say that due to karma he is getting what he deserves, I know this might be a little unfair.  I don’t know if he is fully capable of abusing him or not and I don’t want to pass judgment on him, especially since it isn’t mine to give. 

The other thought is how do I tell my children that their dad is being investigated for abuse.  The see him as perfection, even when he lets them down.  I don’t know where to turn here.  My oldest son was the one who let me know what was going on but how do you explain that to the rest of the kids, the youngest is only five.  It wouldn’t be so hard to bare if he hadn’t been yoyoing in their life for the last few months.  I don’t know what to do.  I figure for now I will not say anything and hope that their brother doesn’t say anything either.  Maybe not tell them until everything is settled. 

In both of these situations, I wonder why these things happen.  Both people have been great parents in the past.  I just don’t understand what in their lives have caused them to deviate from this path.  While I wait and see what goes on with both of these cases, I hope all works out well for the children involved.  I hope that these once wonderful people can get back on track and get the help they need to do that.  Something which wasn’t afforded me.  May the system work for them…

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One comment

  1. Hi..I just came across your blog as I have been searching for a picture of a crystal ball…Google threw up an image which is on your site…

    How awful..your concern for the well being of a child such as you mentioned is paramount..you would never have been able to live with yourself had you ignored the evidence.

    I undersdtand the situation with your ex is incredibly difficult and it must be hard to be objective all the time, you sound as if you are nursing some very damaged and still hurting experiences from that relationship..and from us men as a whole!

    Anyway, I’ve waffled on a bit..but take care..

    Niall



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