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Odd Man Out

May 7, 2008

I know it has been a little while since I’ve written but I’ve been dealing with a lot of self induced drama as of late.  Questioning things in my life, such as, where do I go from here, is my college experience what I need or am I really in need of something different.  Then there is the whole situation with my relationship or relative lack of one.  This past weekend I went camping and while I had a good time, I couldn’t help but feel a little like the third wheel.  Everyone else had someone else and I was left to my own devices.  It was a little hurtful but the company I kept tried to make me feel better about it. 

The original reason I went camping was to get away from all of the stuff of my life, kids, ex, family.  the bad part was that I had my phone on and they called, interrupting.  I know they were just trying to find out who I was with and I’m sure they were hoping for me to be there with someone who should be significant in my life in the near future.  I hate to disappoint them but I wasn’t there looking for or with any type of man who would be interested in me in any kind of manner that would denote a real relationship. 

We drove through the campgrounds looking for a quiet place to camp.  We went past the people with kids, hell I had gotten away from my kids, last thing I was going to want was to have a bunch of screaming kids around.  We found a spot surrounded by older people and settled in for the night.  Then a car drove up.  This car was full of drunken “kids” who were looking for a place to finish the beers they brought with them.  They were loud and crude.  They discussed things I never needed to know about them, even if we were dating.  Eventually they passed out and not a moment too soon.

I met a squirrel who became my friend as he scratched around outside my tent looking for a small morsel to eat.  He found one and went to the nearest tree to enjoy his meal.  I took pictures of this wondrous event yet it is hard to see what it is. 

Overall I would have to say the weekend wasn’t quite long enough for me.  That is why I asked my childrens’ father to take the kids longer than 24 hours.  I need a break from my life.  I need a vacation and this is the next best thing to getting that.  Silence and nature, two of the things I love most.  Now if only I could find someone to spend it with…I hate being the odd person out.

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