Food for Thought

November 29, 2007

I know I haven’t posted in a little while but I have been busy.  The semester for school is coming to a close and I’m trying to make sure I have a passing grade.  My little brother has been driving everyone nuts.   Then there are my kids.  They have taken on every bad habit my little brother has.  This is driving me nuts.

I know I should post but I’m not sure exactly what to say or which topic running through my head I should cover.  I would like to keep this post kind of random.

First I would like to say how proud I am of my older brother.  I never realized it until my little brother finished serving his time in prison.  My younger brother hasn’t really changed.  He still thinks he can do whatever he wants and so far has been doing just that.  No one to keep him in check, no need to follow the rules.  I feel before long he will right back where he was before he was arrested. 

My older brother has also been in his fair share of trouble and has even had his freedom taken away.  His reaction to this was a complete 180 from where my other brother is.  He hasn’t been in a lick of trouble since he was released and plans to keep it this way.  Well actually he has had one minor bump in the road but this was because of my younger brother’s troubles and he was not found guilty after trial.

Then there is the next major bump in the road.  My divorce.  I signed the final decree today and 2 weeks from today I will officially be a free woman again.  This doesn’t really matter… I will be doing the same thing as I am now.  I actually cried before I went in to sign the papers.  I realized this morning that my oldest child doesn’t want us to get divorced.  I don’t know how to fix this problem so I will be dealing with it as best I can. 

As far as the crying, I wasn’t crying because it is final but because I realized I will probably die without ever finding someone to spend the rest of my life with.  I will probably never remarry.  Going out of this world with the same last name I came into it with.  No one ever thinks this is going to happen but I know it will be the case.  I just don’t feel anything anymore.  If I can’t feel love then how will I ever find it.

Well right now I feel tired all the time…could be that I have to stay up half the night doing my homework so I don’t tie up the phone line (yes, I have dial up) and then turning around and getting out of bed very early to make sure the kids get to school on time.

Well I can see it is getting late so I am going to post this and go to bed.  Everyone have a wonderful Friday and may everyone’s weekend be as lovely as can be.


One comment

  1. Eh mau dikenalin gak ama cewek yang namanya Kak Dewi. Orangnya geblek pisan, sok mentaan duit ka batur. Geus kitu sok nyarekan grup jalak. Eh kalau yang mau nerima telepon aja ke nomor hp 08996816875. Cepetin bisi keburu ada yang ngerebut

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