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I Think I Have a Fan Base

September 21, 2007

I was tickled pink when I saw people are actually reading what I have to say.  At least I hope they are reading it.  Well to those of you die-hard fans here is a new post.

I think I have hit rock bottom.  If this isn’t rock bottom then it has to be pretty damn close because I’ve got my shovel out.  There is no money in the bank, no gas in the car and no place to call home.  I would say this has got to be it. 

I know after all of this I will be a better person but what do I do until then?  I am scared I may not make it that long and I keep hoping something will change soon but as is everything in my life…day late and a dollar short.  I don’t know what to do anymore.  I know life is supposed to be rough but what am I suppose to do.

As far as my relationship, I don’t know which direction we are headed.  I think it is time I move on and let go of the dead horse I’ve been beating.  I don’t feel the emotional attachment to anyone I use to and this makes me feel all alone.  My roommate is holding me back as well.  She doesn’t want me to get a job because then she will miss me.  I understand this and would feel the same way but we have to have money coming in. 

Then there is my children.  They are driving me to the point of crazy and I don’t know what to do with them any more.  They are lazy and irresponsible.  They can’t even clean up after themselves.  Why would I want to have anyone in my life when it is like it is?  As time moves on I think I should just be alone with my kids and live exactly like my mother.  It isn’t easier but it would release a lot of people who are already stressed to the point of no return. 

I am tired of fighting.  I fight with everyone and I don’t know what to do about it.  I don’t know if it is me or the stress I’m under but I can’t help it.  All I want in my life is a little truth.  ~ “The truth will set you free.” ~ 

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