Thank You

September 14, 2007

I know I promised to keep writing if you all keep reading and I will keep my promise.  Thank you for reading my work and I hope you like the post.

Yesterday I was reminded again of how much I hate my mother.  I know hate is such a strong word but somehow it is very deserved.  She is going to drive me to do something I won’t like.  I should snap a twig on her ass but she is my mom and I think it would be inappropriate. 

She needs to learn to respect my role as an adult and a parent.  She has difficulty with those two things.  I think she sometimes forgets how old I really am and that those children came out of my womb not hers. 

If I was to trace it all back I would say she is trying to fix what happened with her children through my children.  She is failing.  My roommate and I have been discussing openly with my oldest son about the possiblity of him spending some time in a home for problem youths.  We have the place picked out and know everything about having it become his new “home” if he doesn’t straighten up.  He told my mom  and she told him we couldn’t do that without a court order.  She is wrong but of course he thinks she is “God” and therefore knows everything.  She also called and left me a message telling me she thinks my son and daughter should come to her house where she can fill their heads with all sorts of crap and buy them stuff.  She then tells me stuff they don’t say to make me feel bad so I will give in an she will get her way about something.  She is wrong again.

How do I stop her from getting into my life to the point of destroying it?  She has caused problems in my life between my friends and I, my love life has suffered under her thumb, and many other things which would take up too much time to post.

She assumes I go out to the bar all the time and get drunk.  I haven’t been out to a bar since last November.  I did go bowling in February sans kids but there was no drinking involved and I was home before midnight.  She thinks I lie.  I let her think it because it has made some of my relationships easier.  The one boyfriend I had can’t stand her because she caused problems between his mother and I (well actually his mother and mine ~ his mom stuck up for me.)  She misunderstands things people say and this has caused more than one fight between him and I.  I don’t think I mentioned my mother knew his mother and step-father long before I knew him. 

Anyway she drives me crazy.  She still expects things of me that I can not produce.  She believes all I do all day is sit on my butt and lounge around.  Apparently she forot what it was like being a parent.  I have to spend the first hour of my day practically dressing my four children so that we can leave to take them to school.  Then between dropping off children #1, 2 and #3 I do my homework and that is for about an hour.  Then I either go to the library and do my online homework or I go to class.  After I have done this I take my youngest to school.  Once he is in the safety of his teachers I breath a sigh of relief and head off to do my arrands.  By the time I’m done with those it is time to pick up kids again.  Off to “home” where I can make and serve dinner, get all the kids bathed and in bed just in time to do my homework in the dark with a flashlight.  I wonder when in my day she wants me to fit anything else in.  

Yet I try.  I am still looking for a job, a place to actually call home, and managing to not have  a breakdown.  I would call that pretty full, wouldn’t you?

I guess I should ask her if she would like to trade me sometime.  I’ve done her job, cashiering at Wal-Mart, and it isn’t that hard.  Maybe she should try doing mine.  I bet after only a few hours she would be begging me to take my life back and never bother me again.

Well thank you one and all for reading my run on and on about my life segment.  Maybe next time I will have some good news to report.

Remember give those who are close to you a hug and tell them you love them.  You may never get another chance.  I know I didn’t. 


One comment

  1. yikes

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