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Thanks but No Thanks

August 20, 2007

Well as the summer draws to a close, I feel it only necessary to thank those of yo who have helped us out over the last month.  My mom has been one of the bigger helps.  She helped us move, then helped us set up camp.  When we had to change campgrounds, she was there again.  Just about anything we needed, she would get us.  Thank you mom for everything.  I hope I will soon be able to repay you.

Bob, you have also been a really big help.  You helped us with all the camping stuff and even when it was something as simple as getting the hook-up right (I know I’m a blond), you were there and in a timely manner.  Thank you for that.

Then there is the smaller help we have gotten from others.  Scott, Tony, and Zach thanks for helping us move.  Without you it wouldn’t have gotten done. 

This is were the thanking stops.  Over the course of the last few weeks, we have lived life in a way which we haven’t exactly liked.  However there are people out there who could care less how we have been living.  To my brother and my roommates family, please don’t pray for me and don’t criticise me either.  I feel bad enough as it is and your prayers don’t work, in case you didn’t notice, my gods don’t hear them.  Through your constant put downs and such you remind me why I want to move out of state and leave no forwarding address.  You don’t realize how hard it is for someone like me to find what I am seeking.  You act as if I have been wasting my time and not looking at all.  Well I have, for more than a year now, been searching and have not found anything.  Don’t get me wrong I have had plenty of interviews but they never pan out.  I’m either under-qualified or over-qualified.

I know this breaks away a little from what I was writing but I do have something to say.  I once read a blog about homeless people and how the blogger wrote he didn’t understand how this could happen.  Why didn’t these people have a network of family and friends upon whose couch they could crash.  Well let me tell all of you something.  I speak on behalf of someoen who is homeless and I even have family in the area where I live.  If you burn bridges you have nowhere to go.  I don’t have enough friends out there who are willing to deal with my life and I never would expect them to.  However I am now homeless and everyone I could stay with has said NO!!! 

I know this may sound a bit harsh but I don’t care.  My family is full of people who are worried about themselves.  My brother is prime suspect number one.  He is my mothers caretaker (no she’s not incapable she just is afraid).  As her caretaker he has access to her bank accounts.  After my grandfather died last year, she has come into a large amount of money.  Of this money, I have asked to BORROW $650.  All of which I must pay back.  My brother has just taken money and plans to repay it when ever he feels like it.  He keeps mentioning how I haven’t repaid any of the money I have borrowed from my mother even though I owe her the least. 

This is only a small portion of what he has done.  If I ask for anything, he acts like he is too busy to help or there is just no way in the world to help me right now.  He even tells my mom not to help me.  He is tearing her apart.  She wants to help all of her children but my brother is acting like he is the only child. 

My youngest brother, who is serving time in prison, has asked to move home once he is out so he can get beck up on his feet.  My older brother, who has had his share of trouble, told my mom to tell him no.  He is starting to act like his wife does about his family.  She wishes we didn’t exist either. 

Well I hate to tell everyone out there who feels this way but we are going to be here for a long while so get use to it. 

I hate that I have ranted on like this for so long.  Hopefully when I post again, it will be nicer.

I’m sure here soon I will have some wonderful news.

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