Super Nova

 

Sometimes I wonder whether my parents really should have had me.  It is days like today that make me wish they hadn’t.  Why is it that I don’t have the guts to do myself in like every other person who has.  What do they have in them that I don’t have in me?  Determination, maybe a sense of will, I don’t know but there is something they have that I don’t. 

 All day long I struggle through life and wonder what for.  What is the reason I am here on this planet?  What can I possibly contribute to this world that requires me to be here, living, day in and day out?  All I have done thus far in my life is to increase the population and anger people I don’t even care for.  Hell, I’ve even upset those I really cared for.  Some of them now no longer speak to me and have completely written me out of their lives and who am I to blame them.  They did what they should have before they ever thought about becoming by friend. 

Out of concern for my children, I stay here on this planet and wonder when I will be able to move on.  I realized that I am like a super nova.  Those close to me will not make it.