Has anyone ever felt under-appreciated? Well this is how I feel. My children didn’t even care I slept through the entire time they were awake and home today. I guess I haven’t been feeling well as of late and sleep has been eluding me for the last week. Well now I sit here after having slept the better part of a day still tired but knowing I made a promise to myself and hopefully to others who may read this someday. I am going to write daily even if it kills me.
Well I have had a lot on my mind as of late. How am I ever going to make a go of this thing if no one reads it? I suppose it is my own fault. I always figure things will go really well and then I get disappointed and surprise!!! Things go crappy. I know I wanted this to appear as an archive for another webpage I have but still no one is reading it either. What can I do to make this thing work? Why doesn’t anyone care what people think in this great society of ours.
I get it I am only talking about being a mother but still I have value even if I don’t always feel like I do. Maybe I need to get out more and spend some time getting real life experiences. See the world. Move. I don’t know. Right now I’m just frustrated.
I sat down last night and tried to come up with a one year plan for myself, a direction for my life to go in within the next year. With or without anyone special in my life. I really need to move forward and get a life, something I don’t have right now. I hope I can only feel useful in the next month.
Hopefully people will begin to see me as useful and I really hope I can grow and fulfill my one year plan and even make up a five year plan which hopefully will include someone special, who is my equal, my life partner. If not I will have to work on it or maybe I should just leave it alone. Maybe loneliness is what my future entails. Still I will go on with a smile on my face.
